WorldTourWatch: Experience the Thrill of Illegal Alienhood
Americans who want to know what it's like -- kind of -- to attempt to sneak into the United States, can now do so courtesy of the Hnahnu (pronounced nyah-nyoo) Indians in Ixmiqilpan, Mexico. The tribe has begun hosting nightly recreations of what it is like to sneak across the Rio Grande River into the U.S., although the attraction is in fact about 700 miles south of the border, in Mexico's Eco Alberto nature park. Thrillseekers, who pay about $15 apiece, get to spend six hours in the dead of night scurrying through mud and around obstacles, while attempting to hide -- or run -- from the "Border Patrol" (played by members of the Hnahnu). "Poncho," a hooded trafficker, acts as the guide. It is a more vigorous, low-tech version of IMAX and motion-master rides in America, where tourists are herded from room to room by costumed employees, yelling that they are about to be attacked by parasitic space aliens or dinosaurs. In Ixmiqilpan, Americans are the monsters. [09/17/2006]
My family and I were quite unfortunate and had to enter the US through legal means. Getting visa's, flying into a major airport and proceeding through customs, getting green cards, and then struggling through bureaucratic red tape trying to get my citizenship because I had a criminal history: speeding. It took letters to everyone in the INS, congress and Tom Ridge to get my citizenship. I was not afforded the opportunity to enter the country being chased by dogs and border guards, so I figure, why not do it now. If I had known I could enter the US so easily, I'm sure my family would have crossed the border in Mexico and claimed to be Cuban. We're foreign, no one can tell the difference right. There's no point going through the legal means when we can get granted immunity if the Congress decides so. Viva America. So who's going to come join me on this little adventure?