Thursday, September 13, 2007

If I turn up dead..........

Look at my cats. I have a feeling they are plotting against me. I can see it in their eyes. When I walk in my house they immediately start to trip me up. Getting between my legs, both at the same time. They always say that it is bad luck if a black cat crosses your path, I have two of them. While I sleep, they attack me. I wake up with scratches all over my body. Thay bite me, shed all over me. I fear for my live. I've also been seeing some strange charges on my credit card. Catnip.com, cattoys.com, kittyporn.com. What should I do? I fear for my life. I called the police and tried to get a restraining order, but I have been laughed out of the court. I don't know where I have gone wrong. I feed them when they need food, pet them when they want it, clean their litter box when it is full. I take them to the vets to get shots and check ups. Do they not like their food? It looks tasty as far as pet food goes. Should I start making them tuna and chicken, and eat the cat food myself? I have just removed them from my will, and changed the beneficiary on my life insurance policy. If they ever learn how to fire a gun, I am in trouble. But I must go, because they are watching me. I don't want them to know that I know about the plot. If they get me, avenge my death, AVENGE IT........