Sunday, November 25, 2007
So this last week a friend of mine accused me of promoting her alcoholism. She stated, and I quote "Most Likely to Encourage my Dangerous, Drunken Escapades." Now, although I have been known to imbibe every once in a while, I have never been accused of causing someone such distress. I am usually the sane, soberish one. I have had occasions of mad drunkenness, but they are few and far between. I generally end up being the designated driver. So when I was accused of this crime, I recoiled in horror. But then after being given this great honour, I proceeded to meet with the aforementioned friend at our local watering hole, and forced 4 Irish car bombs down her throat. Thats right 4. Now she had already been drinking other beverages, so with the car bombs and however many Ace Pear Ciders she imbibed, she got mighty ill, and at our 3rd stop of the night, she decided she wanted to expel the alcohol, and most of the contents of the stomach. Afterwards she felt fine, and called me to go out drinking with her again, although she had learned her lesson, and wouldn't let me force her to drink anymore car bombs. So my friend, I want to apologize for putting you through all that agony, and as penance, I am joining Alcoholics Anonymous. My first meeting is Monday night, and maybe afterwards we can both go to the Flying Saucer for $2.50 pint night, and celebrate my new found sobriety.